Hi everyone! Today seemed like a good day to check in and give you an update on what's been going on in my life recently. I am so happy to tell you that I am 17 weeks pregnant right now and getting more and more excited to meet our new baby in March.
Unfortunately, I haven't been feeling any better, quite possibly even worse than in my first trimester, so please understand why I haven't been posting many new recipes, answering your questions and comments, and have pretty much disappeared from social media.
As you know from my previous post, I had a PICC line put in and get IV fluid infusions every day for 6 hours. I'm still not able to keep much food down. I've figured out that I feel a lot better if I don't eat, LOL. Of course, there are the downsides of weakness, losing weight and stressing out that the baby needs to get nutrients. I do still cook once in a while, the only problem is that it makes me really nauseous and then I can't eat what I cooked. Last weekend, my sweet husband helped me make a gigantic pot of Chicken Broth and I'm really enjoying sipping on it throughout the day. We made it really concentrated and I also added a whole bunch of veggies to it, so at least I'm getting some nutrients in me.
I'll be honest, it's been really hard lately. I haven't been able to work for awhile and don't have any energy at all. I'm a task oriented person by nature, so it's very difficult for me to not be able to check things off my to do list. It's torture for me to just lay around in bed or on the couch, but I feel so awful most of the time, that I don't even have the energy to mope about it too much.
In addition to all of that, last weekend, I ended up being hospitalized, since I got a blood clot in my arm where I have the PICC line. 
Blood clots are a risk if you have a central line, and since my protein levels are very low, that put me at an even higher risk. I am so thankful that I didn't have to be hospitalized any longer and got to go home on the second day. Even though I am really glad to be home and thankful that it wasn't anything serious, I now have to get shots twice a day for the next 3 months, or possibly for the rest of the pregnancy. NOT fun.
Anyway, I just wanted to be honest and fill you in. It really helps to have an incredibly supportive and loving husband, who takes amazing care of me. There's also a wonderful outcome out to all of this. This time, with all the IVs, poking, hospitals and doctors, I at least have something great to look forward to. I know it's only temporary and I will be back to my normal self before long. I can't be pregnant forever, and I'm almost half way there.
There are 4 things that I've discovered that help me when I feel discouraged:
1. Don't beat myself up about feeling down.
As human beings living in an imperfect world, there are both good days and bad days. I have to realize that sometimes it's ok to cry and feel discouraged. Dark days are part of life and that's normal. As long as I don't wallow in self pity and depression for too long, it's ok to have a good cry now and then, like last weekend when I was ordered by my doctor to go to the hospital. Beating yourself up about not staying positive 100% of the time is discouraging and tiring in itself. Besides, it's not realistic.
2. Don't expose myself to negative people, media, books, etc.
I'm sure most people are very caring and don't mean to be malicious in their comments. They probably don't even realize how much their words can hurt. I've had to learn to shield myself from it as much as I can, especially when I am very vulnerable. That is not the time to try to stay strong.
Talk to people who are encouraging and will lift your spirits. When you are strong and feel good emotionally, then you can try to be an encouragement to others, but don't try to be a hero when you're weak yourself. It will only make you feel worse. I just talked to both my Dad and Mom on the phone yesterday, and they were so positive, that I felt ready to tackle the world and especially to work hard and take care of our precious baby for the next five months.
3. Don't compare myself to others. It's so easy for me to have a pity party if I compare myself to others and wish that I was "normal". Why can't I just enjoy my pregnancy like other people? Why do I have to go through so much every day? I wish I was a normal wife to my husband and he didn't have to come home from work tired and still have to help out with housework and have to know how to manage all my medical care.
Sergi could pass all the Nursing Skills tests with flying colors because he's practiced them all on me. Sterile dressing changes, hooking up IV fluids, flushing PICC lines, giving shots - piece of cake! That's not counting all the other stuff he had to learn 7 years ago when I was in much worse shape. I love that he is so smart and we can be mostly self sufficient. The home health nurse only comes once a week to get my bloodwork for labs, but it would be so much better if I didn't need any of it at all.
I wish I could make dinner like usual, have a clean home and go out on fun dates with my husband instead. Sergi reminds me that this is "our normal". Yes. It is. That is why it's so important to NOT compare myself to others and instead count all of my blessings and realize how awesome it is that I am alive and doing so well. That green monster can just get out of my house, because the comparison game is too costly for my emotional and spiritual frame of mind.
4. Remember all of God's promises and all that He has done for me already.
"Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits" Psalm 103:1,2
It's incredible for me to think back to everything that I've already been through and see how God miraculously saved my life and gave us the strength to endure everything that was happening. He has been with us through much more horrific circumstances and He will be with us every step of the way now too. We are so thankful for our miracle baby and I thank God every day for modern medicine and knowledgable physicians.
Thank you for all your prayers and your care and concern! We really appreciate it.
In other exciting news, Sergi and I DO know the gender of our baby! We found out much sooner than most, because I've had to be monitored much more often to make sure the baby was developing properly. Thanks to the grace of God, the baby is growing perfectly. Even though we didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, it's very special to know who it is. I think we can connect to the baby much more now. We even have a name picked out. We had a fun gender reveal party for our family and got it on video too:). We are keeping it a secret for now, but will share it with all of you soon.
Olga,
May God bless you and keep and may his light shine on you and be gracious to you and your family; now and forever.
You are all in my prayers.
Dear Olya,
I just want to let you know that you are in my prayers. I know that going through hard times sometimes discourages us, but I believe that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us every minute of our lives. It's amazing how much God has done in your lives. I pray that you will have a good, safe labour and a healthy baby.
I sort of had hard pregnancies (out of 4 only 2 survived. One miscarriage at 12weeks and one full term still born boy. 2kids a girl, and one healthy boy. So when I look back I am still thankful that God gave me an opportunity to have all 4, but since He called 2 of them home I am looking forward to seeing them again one day.
Olga and Sergi, I'm so incredibly happy for you! What an amazing miracle! Olga, one of my favorite quotes is "God will never give you more than you can handle!" Stay strong and positive! Sending you lots of love, positive thoughts and strength.
PS: I can't wait to know if it's a boy or girl! 🙂
May God keep you and baby healthy and strong. Speak life to your baby, "bible reading out loud"... bible is living and powerful and will nourish you as well, because a person don't live by bread alone. If you can, try to eat fruits and veggies. An apple or any fruit will keep your vitamin level stable, I have been looking into raw foods diet, its very interesting... You are doing awesome, staying positive and strong, and your husband is amazing.. I will keep you both in my prayers...
God bless you! keep strong 🙂 I will keep you in my prayers, and wish the best for you.
Olga! I am so happy to hear about your pregnancy news. Hang in there. I also had difficulties in my pregnancies, difficult c sections, and colicky babies. It was sooooooo hard. When I would share those things with my friend she eventually told me something encouragement. May be it will help you. She said that every one has problems, every family. Some people have a terrible selfish husband who makes even the easiest pregnancy seem non enjoyable because of his behavior. A husband who doesn't get involved in kids lives and lives for his own pleasure. Other people have a hard time with pregnancy, childbirth and sick babies. But at least their husbands are loving, caring and involved. I am sure you are the second example, just like I am. So other people can compare their husband to your caring husband too and start to feel sad that their husband is the opposite, but like you said, DON'T COMPARE. Every one has something they are dealing with.
When I had my last so far, in the delivery room, I just went through soo much, a bad c section, they cut my organs, lost tooo much blood, etc., I was miserable. I could barely move. I hurt sooo badly and I had a three year old and an almost two year old at home to take care of. I didn't know how I was gonna do it. This one lady came to take my blood test and she was an older lady, she looked very lonely. She was very sad. She saw in what situation I was in and she said, AT LEAST YOU CAN HAVE KIDS. I CANT. I NEVER EVEN WAS ABLE TO GET PREGNANT.... She probably wished to be in my place......
So hang in there. There is always some one out there who has it better than you, but also many have it worse. Many can't even dream of being pregnant with their own child. You are a strong woman. May God give you even more strength....
You, dear sister, are an INSPIRATION...let those words sink in:)
And yes, stand firm on every amazing promise of our amazing Daddy God...
All will be well 🙂
Excited to see who you'll have!!!
Honey remember things get worse before they get better ALWAYS! So hold in there! God is your ROCK and you will get through this! Soon you will tell stories of your hard time to your little precious baby. You are a blessing to so many women and you deserve to be blessed with all the happiness in the world. I hope things will be better, but if not this is worth it for the little miracle that you are carrying. Thanks for sharing your journey you are such an amazing person!
Praying for you Olga. Don't worry now about new postings. Take care of yourself and your new blessing from above. We all love you and bless you with many many blessings from our God.
You are the cutest and most inspiring couple. As I read your posts, I can feel the love you have for each other. Know that God loves you and your baby and He is looking out for you. Though we won't be hearing from you quite as frequently, Olga, I want you to know I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I wish you happiness and good health.
Once again, your just so encouraging! May the Lord bless you aubundantly Olichka! He indeed is so good! May He help you through dear! May we always be: Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith...Hebrews 12:2
Be patient, almost there, some pregnancies are tough, mine was too. I felt sick and couldn't cook and etc. It was not amazing I say, but now my son is 3 and he is the best sunshine of my daily joy. wish you best wishes, stay cool and calm.
I can't tell you how excited I was to read the good news. Although I have never posted a comment before I have been following your blog for several years now. I have cringed reading your past ordeals and always wished and hoped you will one day have the family you and Serge imagine. You are such a sweet and positive person and deserve to be the wonderful mother I am sure you are destined to be. God bless you and the little angel growing inside you.
God bless you, get well soon! Thank you for all the recipes you share, I really appreciate it! Stay strong and God will follow through, He is always there for us!
So stinkin' excited for all of u!! I saw u are struggling with getting protein. There is a product I continue to use everyday for the past 10 years! It's called Unjury. BEST tasting protein on the market...believe me, I tried everyone out there! Look up their website because I use it for malabsorption issues. They have choc, vanilla and strawberry! They even have one with no flavor that is perfect to add to your soup or coffee! They do offer a trial pack with all flavors. They also have an awesome recipe section! U can use milk or water with it. I do have to be careful adding it to hot things...but Jerome and Martha are awesome and will address any concerns u might have! Good luck and blessings!